Hate...

It's becoming prolific in our world. Every major religion and definitely the Abrahmic religions (Judaism, Muslim, Christianity) which are the most prolific, all say to love your neighbors, to do unto others as you would have them do unto you, karma, treat others as you would want to be treated. So why all the intentional bad joo joo? I know I've hurt people in my life, sometimes even intentionally. I once took all of Boomer's very nice designer clothes and gave them to the street guys in Westlake park. Heidi wouldn't let me have a waiting to exhale fire in the front yard, so I gave them all away the next day. This was done with intention - to hurt. In doing an honest assessment, I think that was the last time I did something on purpose to hurt someone. Part of me thinks it's just because I've stopped caring. The better part of me knows it's because I've grown beyond that. I know that hurting someone else doesn't make me feel any better, it just makes me feel guilt on top of the hurt. What matters in my life now is relationship. If you're in my life, I want a relationship with you. At the point that I don't find value in our relationship, I move on. This past winter I made a decision to end two friendships that have been part of my life for a very long time. I don't even miss them. And I feel no need to lash out either. They hurt me, I moved on. I'm learning that I don't need to work for love. There's no earning it. Either love is present or it's not and you can't force it. And once it's gone, you can't get it back. No matter how hard you try.