I’ve never known a feeling so full or a place so perfect. I want to write, but it’s indescribable. Wordless. There are not adequate words to describe what happens when his lips touch mine, when his hands touch my skin…when he’s inside me. No one does anything to earn this feeling…nor does anyone do anything to conjure it up. It just happens. Unexpectedly and without effort.
It starts the moment I open the door and my heart stops. For just the briefest of seconds, the world stands still. It sounds so cliché…a 1950’s movie in black and white. Then, my heart beats, my eyes smile and he is in my space. It doesn’t matter where that space is when he’s in it…a table, a car, a couch, a lake, a tent, a rock…as long as he’s in my space.
Shared time and space. Doesn’t cost a thing and is worth more than any treasure.
I want to find words to write what it feels like to sleep with him…but there are no words. It is the most peaceful, restful, perfect sleep. The feeling of my head on his chest, or in his neck, feeling his warmth, his heart beat, his gentle snore...the length of his body completely against mine, his arm wrapped around me, his hand resting on my waist…there is no safer place, no more perfect place. I sleep soundly and instantly. It is perfection…free from any flaws and defects. Whatever else may be right or wrong in our lives, this moment, right here, wrapped up with him is pure perfection.
His hands are the stabilizing force for my shattered heart. His mouth quenches an unspoken hunger for connection. His body is a comforter for my fear. Where he is, is where I want to be. I crave him in a way that is extreme. Thoughts of him consume me in my sleep and distract me in my days. He is my first thought every morning and my last thought every night.
There are no words to convey how much space he takes up in my head and my heart. I never thought this was real…that there was one person who could change everything I ever thought about love. It is at once completely satisfying while creating an unquenchable desire. A feeling so big there are no words to define it.