Learning To Love

This has been a week of newness and discovering much about love. What it is and what it isn't...to me. Love is commitment and action. Feelings come and go, but when you love someone you keep loving them, even in their absence, even when you don't understand why. On the bus yesterday I sat across from an "only in Seattle" couple. A bio female person who was quite masculine paired with a bio male person who was quite feminine. A complete reversal of "nature made." This couple was probably somewhere near 60, the wedding bands on their hands long ago creating deep indentations that even if the rings were removed would remain. The comfort they showed with one another, the ease with which they moved in unison, the whispering in one another's ears to be both heard over the bus noises and to be heard only by one another, the emotion that poured from their eyes. Yes, I was staring...it's a bad habit of mine.

I got off the bus and ended up taking a long walk instead of the two blocks home. I wanted to feel the wind moving about me, sit with that love flowing on the bus. I didn't want to let it go just yet. I don't have that kind of love in my life. I don't have someone who loves me and allows me to be fully myself.