Life is Not What One Expects...

...or at least not what I expected. Every time I think I figure one part out, it switches up on me. What I have learned through it all, is this: I can really do what it takes to make things work. My day started today with an almost 2 hr. drive to Portland for work, and 1/2 way there - a blown out tire. Which I changed by myself on the side of the highway, in a dress and boots. Yes, all by myself. Something has happened in our world, very few people care enough to stop and help anymore. A DOT worker - Dan - stopped right as things were finishing up. But trust me, this is only the second time I've ever changed a tire, I was there for a while as dozens, perhaps hundreds, of people passed me by.
On to my meeting with the head of HR and the VP of a multi-million dollar, multi-state corporation. Our meeting was about the patriarchy, oppression and unfair treatment that the females in my office experience. I wish I could say I was shocked at the outcome, but unfortunately, I was right. The outcome of being called a bitch, having work maliciously undone, having (male) subordinates flat out tell me no when given clear instructions: I'm being too sensitive, perhaps I'm misinterpreting, perhaps it was a mistake the document was password protected preventing me from doing my job (by a guy who just took a typing class because he didn't have computer skills, but he accidentally went through all the steps to place a password on a document!), perhaps I need to use a different set of skills (although none were suggested). My day ended in the HR office being told "when people say something you don't agree with, change the subject." No lie. And that bitch from a patriarchal male old enough to be my father could be a term of endearment. Again, no lie. This from the head of HR.
For anyone who knows me - even slightly - telling me to just "change the subject" when someone says something offensive, racist, bigoted or privileged is just a joke. Are you kidding? The female who said this to me is Jewish - do you think her ancestors just "changed the subject" in order for her to have the opportunity for this position? Indeed, our society will never improve, relationships never be enhanced and those being oppressed freed from oppression if we avoid hard topics. Can you imagine telling poverty advocates to change the subject instead of fighting? Can you imagine homeless advocates "changing the subject" when yet another apartment complex is destroyed in the mighty condo sprawl? I would love to have had the spirit of some early feminists in that room with me today. Elizabeth Cady Stanton would not have changed the subject. She would have stayed on the subject until everyone listened.
I ended my day with my baby girl who is 14 today. We went to pizza, had cupcakes, played video games and now we're gonna fill our heads with American Idol babel. She will NEVER change the subject, be a subject of discrimination silently, subject others to oppression, or sit idly by why tough subjects are avoided. She has a mom and older sisters who have taught her to speak up, stand up and don't settle.
When I asked Elisabeth what the best part of her first 14 years was, she responded: knowing Dre. Her biggest goal for the next 14 years: graduate high school and go to college. You go get 'em Lis. I love you and am so blessed to be your mom, listen to your incessent phone calls, watch you change into a strong, articulate, beautiful human who is full of compassion and grace. You have made my past 14 years better than I ever imagined. Thanks for all you do to challenge me to be the best possible woman I can be.