We are going through a new experience. My youngest daughter is living through a major loss. The first death of her young life. And, being the brilliant girl that she is, she's reaching out to those she needs. Those she knows love her. Her older brother came over, we ate together. She called her sisters...they talked to her. And then she asked for exactly what she needed. Jakobi, her 3-year-old nephew. She just wants him to come sleep with her. So right now they're out in the living room eating 'nilla wafers and milk. She has tears that just can't quite stop. It's somber here tonight...but at the same peaceful. I just heard Jakobi's voice "what you doing?" "Snapping my fingers." "Oh, good." And they continue reading the book, her voice quavering as she loves hard. As she seeks to hold on to life.
A man I love very much told me earlier "What this has me considering if I've loved you as hard as I can. If today was the last day we ever talked, would I have said enough? Would you know how much I love you? I'm disappointed in myself. I haven't been all I could be." Life is crazy. But the love of this family is astounding. Her dad is coming tomorrow. We will be parents loving our child together.
As a mom, it's painful to know that there is simply nothing more I can do than to be here. I've called off work for the weekend. We'll be a family, holding on to life together. Supporting my youngest child through something none of the rest of us have been through.
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